سایت تفریحی love3d
زندگی صحنه یکتای هنرمندی ماست/هرکسی نغمه خود خواند و از صحنه رود/صحنه پیوسته بجاست/خوشتر ان نغمه که مردم بسپارند به یاد...
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مدیر وبلاگ : مدیر love3d
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شوخی با دختر ها,طنز خانوم ها
وی تاکسی اگه کنارت یه دختر نشسته وقتی که خواستین پیاده بشین 
بهش بگین مگه نمیای ؟ 
اون هاج و واج شما رو نگاه می کنه . بهش فرصت ندین و بگین . . . 
توی تاکسی اگه کنارت یه دختر نشسته وقتی که خواستین پیاده بشین 
بهش بگین مگه نمیای ؟ 
اون هاج و واج شما رو نگاه می کنه . بهش فرصت ندین و بگین : چه زود جا زدی؟ 
بعدش در تاکسی رو ببندین و برین. و مابقی ماجرا رو به افراد حاضر در تاکسی واگذار کنین. 


2- توی پارک با عجله برین کنارش بشینین و بگین معذرت می خوام 
که دیر کردم .خب چکارم داشتی که گفتی بیام اینجا ؟ 
بهتره یه جایی باشه که چند نفری حضور داشته باشن . 
معلومه که اون انکار می کنه . 
بعدش نوبت شماست فوری بگین مگه تو نگفتی بیا اینجا این رنگ لباسمه این رنگ 
روسریمه ؟ 
باز هم اون انکار می کنه . شما این طوری ادامه بدین : 
خب اگه از اینای که اینجا نشستن خجالت می کشی بریم یه جای خلوت . 
مطمئنم اون داغ می کنه . بعدش شما با عصبانیت بلند شین و 
یه کاغذ جلوش بندازین و بگین سرکار گذاشتی منو ؟ 
بیا اینم شماره ای که دادی . دیگه به من زنگ نزن وگر نه 
می دمت دست پلیس. بعدش ول کنین برین. 

– با عصبانیت برین جلوش و تو چشاش زل بزنین و بگین چیه به من خیره شدی؟ چیزی می خوای؟ به غیر از من کس دیگه هم اینجا هست که بتونی نگاش کنی. همش خیره شدی به من که چی بشه ؟ حالا اینا به کنار ، چرا چشمک می زنی؟ چرا آبرو هاتو واسه من بالا و پایین می کنی؟ خجالت بکش ، شرم کن. نکنه در موردم فکر و خیال کنی من زن دارم و زنم رو هم دوست دارم و قصد ازدواج مجدد هم ندارم. چه معنی داره یه دختر به یه پسر چشمک بزنه؟ 

۲ - اگه دیدین دختر با عجله داره راه می ره و یا اگه موردی به طورتون خورد که دختری می دوید ، شما از پشت سر دنبالش کنین و بگین آی دزد آی دزد بگیرینش دارو
ندارم رو برد. اگه دختر وایساد و شما رو نگاه کرد بازم داد بزنین که: دزد همینیه که ایستاده اگه دختر ترسید و پا به فرار گذاشت ، خوش به حالتون می تونین یه تعقیب و گریز حسابی راه بندازین و حالشو ببرین . ولی اگه ایستاد و فرار نکرد برای این که ضایع نشین به دویدن ادامه بدین و بازم داد بزنین که : آی دزد آی دزد

۳ - توی تاکسی اگه کنارت یه دختر نشسته وقتی که خواستین پیاده بشین بهش بگین مگه نمیای ؟
اون هاج و واج شما رو نگاه می کنه . بهش فرصت ندین و بگین : چه زود جا زدی؟
بعدش در تاکسی رو ببندین و برین. و مابقی ماجرا رو به افراد حاضر در تاکسی واگذار کنین.

۴ - توی پارک با عجله برین کنارش بشینین و بگین معذرت می خوام که دیر کردم. خب چکارم داشتی که گفتی بیام اینجا؟
بهتره یه جایی باشه که چند نفری حضور داشته باشن . معلومه که اون انکار می کنه. بعدش نوبت شماست فوری بگین مگه تو نگفتی بیا اینجا این رنگ لباسمه این رنگ روسریمه ؟
باز هم اون انکار می کنه . شما این طوری ادامه بدین .
خب اگه از اینای که اینجا نشستن خجالت می کشی بریم یه جای خلوت .
مطمئنم اون داغ می کنه . بعدش شما با عصبانیت بلند شین و یه کاغذ جلوش بندازین و بگین سرکار گذاشتی منو ؟ بیا اینم شماره ای که دادی . دیگه به من زنگ نزن وگر نه می دمت دست پلیس. بعدش ول کنین برین. 

۵ - توی جمع یه سی دی بهش بدین . بگین خیلی باحال بود دستت درد نکنه . بازم از اینا داری قیمتش هرچقدر باشه قبوله.
اون مردم دور و بر رو نگاه می کنه و میگه عوضی گرفتی آقا . شما هم طوری وانمود کنین که انگار حواستون نبوده که توی جمع هستین و ازش معذرت بخواین و برین سرت جاتون بشینین. 

۶ - مثل معتادها خودتون رو به موش مردگی بزنین و برین جلو و به لهجه معتادی بگین: خانم دشتم به دامنت از او چیزا که دیلوز بهم دادین بازم هملاتون هشت؟ دالم می میلم از خمالی به جون تو. هر چی منتظل موندم. نیومدین خیلی شانش آولدم که اینجا پیداتون کلدم . بیا اینم پولش .
اون سرخ و سفید می شه و انکار می کنه. ولی شما ول کن نشین و هی پیله کنین. طبق معمول اون انکار می کنه . شما بگین : خانم من شبا لوی زغال می خوابم. من به اندازه کافی چلکی وسیاه هستم. خواهشا تو یکی دیگه منو شیاه نکن.





نوع مطلب : طنز خانوم ها، 
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سه شنبه 6 اسفند 1398 05:11 ق.ظ
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جمعه 2 اسفند 1398 09:26 ب.ظ
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چهارشنبه 30 بهمن 1398 10:28 ب.ظ
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دوشنبه 28 بهمن 1398 06:08 ب.ظ
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دوشنبه 28 بهمن 1398 02:53 ب.ظ
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دوشنبه 28 بهمن 1398 07:21 ق.ظ
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دوشنبه 28 بهمن 1398 04:03 ق.ظ
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دوشنبه 28 بهمن 1398 02:43 ق.ظ
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  • بازدید این ماه :
  • بازدید ماه قبل :
  • تعداد نویسندگان :
  • تعداد کل پست ها :
  • آخرین بازدید :
  • آخرین بروز رسانی :
 
 
 
ساخت وبلاگ در میهن بلاگ

شبکه اجتماعی فارسی کلوب | اخبار کامپیوتر، فناوری اطلاعات و سلامتی مجله علم و فن | ساخت وبلاگ صوتی صدالاگ | سوال و جواب و پاسخ | رسانه فروردین، تبلیغات اینترنتی، رپرتاژ، بنر، سئو